I almost hooked up with this girl last night. she had a tattoo of a cardinal next to her cooter. said it reminded her of her grandpa
after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
I woke up and we were making out. So the good news is that after two years off the market, I haven't lost a step. I'm picking up girls in my sleep now.
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
I was just about to send a concerned text until I opened my door and saw a shopping cart. I'm glad you made it home in one piece and with toys.
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly.
im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
I told her my cab was outside the club and that I had to go, but I think we both knew this wasn't going anywhere past the sloppy bathroom handjob.
I didn't know what to do so I panicked and puked in my pillowcase with my pillow still inside.
think before you get married my friend it's my birthday and just got done jacking off
Banged former boss. Adulthood achievement unlocked.
He was like the most intimidating looking guy you've seen in your life except he was really shittily doing the two step
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
Does it look too obvious if I buy wine and candles!?! In my defense there is a gigantic snow storm coming.
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