The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
Nobody needs to come anywhere. Except on your face.
She invited me to an Eagles game, I mean that is almost better then if she told me she could only function with large amounts of semen in her system at all times.
just ask for directions from a guy with a penis drawn on his window
I just found glitter on my vibrator... whatever we're doing has to stop
I never want to hear the words 'my therapist says . . . ' while naked again.
Yeah he doesn't get it. We had to change the subject to Keanu reeves before someone got hurt.
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
I think this bruise on my arm is actually an impression of your face
I'm pretty sure male strippers are the last things I need in my life right now.
I was going down on her and she started whistling "Whistle while you work." I'm in love.
He called his dick "The Beast" and said he lived "The Beast Life". He was pretty but it was better if he didn't talk.
i woke up fully clothed with teenage dream on repeat. something is wrong with me
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