i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
We were laughing at the passed out guy who had gone to sleep under the car in the McDonald's lot until we realized it was you.
I just turned in a 4 page paper spelling absolute as "absolut" every single time. I'm an alcoholic
I just opened up the mens room door to a dude pissing in the urinal and pointing at himself in the mirror
Lost another pound. Switching from beer to hard liquor did this body good.
He legit asked if he could come over for a hug. I feel like I've been booty called by a 12 year old.
this is what happens when you pick a roommate a year in advance.. she ends up hating you for hooking up with for of her extended family members
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
I may or may not have hooked up with the cop who arrested me.. Or I can cross hooking up with a stripper in a cop outfit off my bucket list.
For the first time in my life, I still have money by the next payday. Who is this responsible person and what have they done with the real me?
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
she prefaced telling me she was pregnant with "houston, we have a problem"
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