my brother wants to know why there are wet balloons in his bed and i think you forgot to throw the condoms away but im too hungover to check if thats what hes talking about
We've reached that awkward stage of the relationship where he's in love with me when he's drunk, but sober him is still afraid of commitment.
You picked me up and threw me on a barstool and shoved shots in front of me.
Thats like the definition of a good friend
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
Drunk in my research methods class at 9:30 in the morning. We should do a quantitative analysis of my mimosa consumption.
I am both scared and jealous.
My Valentine's Day plans just drastically changed... My F buddy just ran into my gf...in my driveway.
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
Is it true if I say your name three times, you'll appear and whore everything up?
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
It was an "I snuck in through the window at 5am with my underwear in my pocket" kind of night.
Easter was a success. We had an egg hunt and hid weed and conforms inside them. Cooked a ham, made some jello, got wasted. THIS is adulthood?!
I can feel your judgement through the phone
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
Randomize
