Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
She told me she's going to buy a projector so she can watch porn on her ceiling...I'm telling you man this chick is going places
She ditched her BF in the library to come see me wasted at a house party and i still ended up banging that rugby chick instead.
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
He's the second guy this morning whose job is jeopardized because of my vagina.
Sorry I need more motivation then McDonalds and mojitos.
My mom has finally acknowledged my soft spot for Russians. Finally.
She pinched my nipples out of nowhere as I was about to come... I think I found god
I just want cinnabon and vodka.
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
I'm just happy stripping was the reason you fractured your hand
I don’t know what language he speaks but I know my boobs will translate just fine
I’m looking forward to few days of international relations
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