In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
Stoned ambition #8. Must learn sign language.
I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
True idk how my parents didn't know I was blackout. I ate like 4 pieces of cheesecake and showed my cousins my boobs
Why did you make me get in the car with you and then not give me a ride? I woke up in a bar with a blanket on me.
you know that feeling on acid where you think the world stops just to fuck with you? That's what it felt like.
I really have to stop having sex with people I sell drugs to...it feels unprofessional
Some days, I wish I could get a hug from a furry muppet
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
Randomize
