I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy
Truelife: I made out with my ex-boyfriend's girlfriend this weekend. Thank you Captain Morgan...
Was she wearing cherry chapstick??
No. Life's not always a fairytale.....
I should do something nice for her. Like sign her up for "What Not To Wear."
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
I'm tangled in a fishing net down at the harbor. This has nothing to do with Captain Morgan. Bring wirecutters.
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
I began mixing captain Morgan and jack daniels and called it captain jack sparrow. I puked. a lot.
I'm sorry but if you can't drink a bottle of wine without a glass, I do not think we can be friends.
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
The playlist was "songs to sing in the shower". I literally got fucked to Footloose.
After he finished, he fell on the floor and whispered "finally satisfied"
Randomize
