When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
My brother brings gifts into my room to wrap them. It's a pizza cutter and a box of condoms..
you wouldn't come out from under your bed because you said there were six-armed bears everywhere.
ohhh that explains the pepperonis I found in my sock drawer this morning...
no it doesn't.
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
I'm sitting on the patient chair, waiting for my vagina to be violated & "i don't want to miss a thing" has been playing on repeat. WHY IS THIS HAPPENING TO ME.
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
Just got that "I know what's going on with your vagina" look from that CVS cashier.
You bought MORE?!
True love is when you jack off and continue talking to the girl you like
Why do you text me weird shit like this?
A part of me realizes this is a bad time to text. But I override it with my awesomeness
WHY DO I KEEP FINDING CHICKEN THROUGHOUT THE HOUSE? GET YOUR ASS HOME NOW!
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
I had to carry him up the hill while he was wearing nothing but knee high socks and a blue glitter sequin leotard.
Why is this not a picture message?
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