i just told my boss to make it rain at camelot later...what is wrong with me?
and on the seventh day, God created megan fox
you got in your car and made the sounds of a NASCAR, then called me on your phone and I was your pit crew. then you apparently you won the race, and THAT'S when you tried to backflip off the top of your car.
standing in the yard with no pants on waiting for google maps to come and take a picture.
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
fyi gin and iced coffee...not my greatest invention
i feel like everytime i say im going to quit drinking someone comes along with a better idea about drinking
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
You tried taking his shirt off at the bar. He was 37 and married with kids.
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
Yeah man i woke up and only had a Jimmy John's wrapper covering myself..
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
You were drunkenly dancing with a statue you affectionately referred to as "The Captain." I wasn't going to deny your happiness.
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
So someone just asked us for our kidneys?!?
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