i swear i just saw perry the platypus. the fuck dude. i shouldnt even know who that is
separated laundry into 'got laid' and 'didn't get laid' piles.
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
Thank you for getting us into that car accident. I have had more guys hit on me than ever before because of my broken fingers.
There's nothing like sitting directly behind someone you fucked 5 years ago at church on Easter Sunday
So i just got guilted into doing a tequila shot by a group of guys chanting "USA!" at me.
Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
I just had to call my mom to come pick me up stoned at a Lana's house and beg her to buy me Taco Bell. I'm graduating from college in 14 hours. Fuck
Just came to the realization that what I thought were orgasms were just lightheadedness from hyperventilation. My entire sex life is a lie.
This Pinterest wedding planning is a good distraction. I'm great at this, my imaginary wedding is beautiful
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
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