How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
He is like the real live version of the state fair..
if i were reduced to my simplest elements, i would be jizz and glitter.
My dad just called from upstairs on the house phone to tell me to bring him a beer. You tell me how I am.
i just remembered last night waiting for you to pick me up wearing my bra on my head to protect me from the rain
She uses my penis to point at the tv when we talk about the shows. I love her
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
It's like rock paper scissors. Cold showers and smoking beat hangovers.
Remember that time you bought snap bracelets on Amazon and they sent you 300 pregnancy tests instead? Amazon knows.
I just smoked weed out of a baked potato.
You rock my world.
Lets play a game called: how out of it are you today? Let me know if you can beat driving on the wrong side of the road twice and walking up two extra flights of stairs just because you weren't paying attention to what floor you are on....
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
Just renamed the subject of my sex list on my phone "grocery list" just in case anyone comes across it
I fucked her with a giant balloon tied to my dick. You tell ME how my night went
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
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