I'm really into asian looking animals
In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
shut up. I wear heels bigger than your dick
One of my students just said I have "big mommy parts". Even third graders know that my tits are too big. God I love em.
he just tried to convince me that tylenol is a gateway drug
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
I'll get him an axe as a present. So he can break out of his closet. That axe being my penis.
He is dating a girl who is on the Olympic shooting team...I've never been so scared to hit on a guy with a girlfriend in my entire life.
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
Beans, may the odds of a nip slip and drunken make out session be ever in your favor
Apparently asking your girlfriends roommate for a hand job when u craw into the wrong bed after a bottle of rum is "bad form".
I need to calm my uterus...
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
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