oh god the rape fog is back!
I just farted so loud that my cat got so scared he fell off the couch.
I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
Im surprised putting the throwing knife "dartboard" next to the door didnt end up worse
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
It was one of the greatest weekends of my life. And that's even after factoring in spraying myself in the face with the bidet.
I feel like my body was put in a dryer with rocks set on permanent press.
I feel like every young boy's first wet dream is too have sex with the Pink Ranger. I am now fulfilling that dream for one man. I am a hero.
Why does your place smell like gin and misery?
I prefer to think of it as 'ode to single life'
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
Your sister just admitted to being a " much bigger bitch" than you. So you've got that going for you, which is nice.
I have betrayed my no carb ways & I can feel it.
Embrace it. Come over to the dark side. I'll feed you muffins while stroking your hair.
Randomize
