my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
: am i supposed to send the mass text 'merry christmas!' to my booty calls too?
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
My vagina just recognized that song.
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
You didn't see us wave? How could you not? We were all going like 10mph screaming at you. We were stoned and didnt wanna run over pedestrians
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
I'm walking home wearing Kermit the frog footie pajamas, carrying a monogrammed shot glass set with my name on it. It's fucking Christmas!
Yeah bro I don't know how she's gonna explain the black eye, how else do you tell your boss "my knee hit me in the face during sex last night"
Thank god for federal credentials. Waaaaayyyy to hungover to go through airport security lines right now.
Visiting Houston was a good decision for my penis.
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
The guy at the rodeo just told me "if ya don't say none, ya don't get none". What the hell does that mean?
Im pretty sure you just got hit on by a gay cowboy.....
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
I mean, he’s listed as “Andrew DC Threesome” in my phone. THATS HOW I REMEMBER HIM! How is that not the start of a fairytale?
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