my tampon string is in my asshole... do you think i can get it out without anyone noticing?
i'd get off the bar first.
at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
my tits taste like a pina colada. how often do you get to say that?
do you remember waking up from your blackout, kissing me ever so softly on the stomach, and saying "i love you bro. so much," then passing back out?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He told me he wouldn't do any drunk sluts but me. I guess that's sort of a compliment...?
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
I'm pretty sure male strippers are the last things I need in my life right now.
let’s be honest I’d fucking Irish step dance on your grave, asshole
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wonder how many people I can tell that he has one nut before he finds out it's me spreading it.
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
He just ate a tooth whitening strip...
They weren't kidding when they said "Go Army Strong." Best sex I ever had.
They left me at home... I'm a liability
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
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