Almost ran you over in the parking lot. You look good
I would dunk an oreo in her breast milk
Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
Why the fuck did you text me at 4 in the morning telling me not to have sex with the bird?
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
It's no shave November. This is our time.
If you can give me an orgasm, you'll get a trophy.
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
So just spent 30 minutes of my life talking to my cousins friend who told me she buys cocaine from a pizza place by asking for extra Parmesan
Randomize
