I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
Yo I tried to get u stoned for ur dreams by blowing weed smoke in ur face while u slept. Ur welcome.
I knew I was rolling hard when I realized I had been rubbing the couch for an hour
He rode my dog to the bathroom and wouldn't stop laughing once he got in. It was scary.
All I could think about when I saw her was that she could be the mother of my future first round draft picks
So apparently I threw a potted plant at a clown last night and told him to get his life together.
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
Medically speaking as your gynecologist and your girlfriend, that is not a rash.
And we're breaking up
this is the first time in over a year I had a pregnancy scare and actually would have known who the father was. I guess this is what adulthood feels like.
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
I’m doing tequila shots with lesbians. This isn’t how I planned my night but I’m not complaining
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