I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
In hindsight buying the pill crusher with my vicodin prescription might have been too much.
I have got to stop getting laid on my lunch breaks. I AM SO HUNGRY RIGHT NOW.
which one of you assholes put my new jeans down the garbage disposal?!
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
Just to clarify, I'm still tripping balls
On an unrelated note, I've come up with a theory of everything
This has to be the weirdest conversation I've ever had sober and in the middle of the day before.
Text me if something catches fire and I will put pants on
Holy shit, we're married as fuck.
I'm just saying, if you haven't been dropped off at a Wawa at 5:30 in the morning by 3 cop cars, you're missing out
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
Not having a reliable dick in is getting expensive. I’ve had to replace 3 vibrators since Mike and I split up
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