I fear hooking up with people who have white pillowcases because my guyliner always smears on it and i either have to A. sneak out in the night or B. wash it and see them again
I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
we're doing shots for every degree below freezing it is outside
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
I just woke up in his house on his bathroom floor with an IV in my arm.
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
And I just had to awkwardly tell 3 police officers that I was having sex and not in any trouble
Well his dad was his wingman, so I had to fuck him. I didnt want his dad to think that he was doing a bad job and I was drunk enough to think he was doing a good job.
Score one for dad.
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
SHE BROUGHT HER PARROT TO THE PARTY. IT SQUAWKS EVERY TIME SOMEONE VOMITS LIKE 'PARTY FOUL SQUAWKKKKKK'
Monday funday. I brushed my teeth with antibacterial soap. hangover I did not have.
Please don't fuck the professor. We both know that won't end well.
Okay, the good news, found Jared, all IDs accounted for, Jack is meeting us at yours with your requested the delivery. The bad news: Lost Alice, banned from Stages, possibly fucked my TA in the bathroom.
It felt like I was on painkillers mixed with Molly mixed with the sinking feeling I'll die alone. 10/10 doing again.
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
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