How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
I think the puke all over the side of my car actually improves its appearance.
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
I don't have to hold her hair back as she blows me but I do have to hold the ball on the Santa hat
Does it qualify as sexting if you're both pretending to be fictional characters?
I'm not sure whether to be proud of you or weirded out.
I don't give a fuck that he's gay and keeps hitting on me. Free cocaine is free cocaine bro
Good god, my descendants are going to be fucked.
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
I shamewalked barefoot this morning and the Dos Equis delivery guy judged the shit out of me.
Yea. You locked yourself outside naked with nothing but running shoes and claimed it was a "parent trap thing."
I wasn't going to drink tonight, but was reminded this is the anniversary of prohibition being repealed. If I don't, then I am against my profession of bartending and anti-American, right?
so he'll eat food out of a dumpster but he won't lick your ass?
Randomize
