Take a Tylenol with a HUGE glass of water before you pass out, you'll thank me in the morning.
i dony have tylonal but i had a snickers and popcorn and a bottle of water and i am.. brushing my teeth!
Rocking a Headband at the strip club, because of Rock of Love this shit is like their kryptonite, I smell like stripper butter and back child support.
my room smells like sperm. sweet.
There's trophy wives that arent even in the 5th grade yet
my boob sweat smells like rotting zombie flesh
is this your pickup line?
What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
WHOA. WHOA. WTF. WHOA. TOO HIGH FOR HIM TO BE ENGAGED RIGHT NOW.
Subtly mention that I'm not a lesbian. I would only go for rebecca's nipples because they're pierced and I like shiny things.
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
I gave him a BJ and he left. Coincidentally that's the name of my memoir.
OK BUT WHO THE FUCK FORGTS A LIVE CHICKEN IN MY HOUSE
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
I asked him to sing a song so he couldn't hear me throwing up as he was holding my hair
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
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