Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
You hit on the cop telling him you were celebrating the anniversary of your 21st birthday and ur boob job... That's how he got ur #
ah tequila...
bro im too drunk for your spanish code words. did you fuck her or not.
Between the plague n the counterfeit drugs we brought back from mexico I'm not thinking too highly of their country right now. Screw mexican homeless men.
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
I can't even look at my running shoes. I swear I drank more in the last 2 days than the last 6 months combined
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
I didn't want to but I was drunk in a Disney bathroom with her and had a weak moment.
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
She squirted. We were both surprised. I'm that good.
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
Best neighbors ever! They found the guy ive been wanting as a booty call and got me invited to the party the guy was at and gave me alcohol so i could be tipsy when met him. im never moving.
Randomize
