lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
Somewhere out there, someone is getting laid. And then theres me, watching Star Trek porn while my roommate plays World of Warcraft next door
Thanks for the menagerie of condoms on my desk
It's the use of SAT words like that which make me want to use them on you
So gin and wine won't be happening again
history professor just told us he has magic fingers. i'm going for it.
Just gave a urinal high five to a complete stranger. Might not be such a bad night after all
I actually don't know if I can stand up. I just know better than to try
she vomitted in her champagne, said "fuck it, it's new years", and continued drinking.
If you've ever wondered what a shitshow is, just watch me at the bar on a Friday. Or Tuesday. Take your pick.
We watched X-Files, ate pizza, and he played with my butt. It was a pretty standard Monday.
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
I am become drunk, destroyer of all worlds
Tonight’s your last chance for a danger free blowjob.
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
Randomize
