Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
please remember that your boobs are bigger than your sisters. when you borrow her shirts they stretch and then shes left flapping in the breeze. dont borrow her clothes anymore. love dad.
Turns out vomit takes off spray tan.
Just saw a woman with a Pomeranian in her bra. Way to step up your game Seattle.
just letting you know, you took a hit of the blunt while sleeping. happy birthday
this is getting really bad. i thought the chandelier in the dining room was one of those claws from the claw games in an arcade and i spent the past five minutes jumping left to right so the claw wouldn't grab me
We're using joints as your birthday candles
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
this relationship shit is hard. like i'd like to be able to watch veep without him trying to dry hump me. also im drunk and its 11 am so
She climbed up the stairs with three brownies in one fist, two in the other, and one in her mouth. Also, she opened the bedroom door with her foot. I may be in love.
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
You know how it is. Tell me not to do somebody and suddenly I wanna.
This weekend was amazing, 4 confirmed pukings, 2 cops, 3 hookers, one photographed t-bagging of the groom, and a night in an illegal gambling house.
Randomize
