If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
Here's an idea...how about I take shots by myself and drunk dial you around noon?
he thanks me after handjobs.
you found the perfect man.
I told her we could be friends and she said the last time i told her that we had sex behind a bar at 4am
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
As I sit on the toilet at 4 am I realize tonight could have gone a lot better
I know it basically makes me the worst feminist ever, but I don't want to kill my own spiders. And I will pay my personal spider hit man with sammiches and unlimited , uninhibited access to my vagina.
Stoned in a petco on a Saturday. I figured out that ferrets can eat themselves out. Just picture it. Never leaving.
i forgot to brush my teeth before I went over so i went to the bathroom and started eating his toothpaste. we're still in the early stages of fuckdom
I just found out that my husband and I are Eskimo siblings. What in the actual fuck?!
He looked me deeply in the eyes and said "I don't want this to be the last time I see you.. Can I follow you on Instagram"
Stay positive! You think people like sad vaginas? NO! You'll get some!
I want you to know. From the bottom of my heart, that you are a great friend, a beautiful person, and one of my favorite people in this world. But if you ever send me that many messages again at 4am I swear to God, I will push you in from of a fast running rhino
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
Randomize
