yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
she was stuffing dove chocolates in my mouth while giving me a blow job. GOD I LOVE VALENTINES DAY
It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
I think a 5 ft pyramid of jello shots in honor of the egyptians is in order
Also you know what's worse than drunk texting? Drunk leaving soup on your hot neighbor's porch.
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
I stopped his blowjob to raise 3 fingers & whistle the hunger games tune to the people walking past the window
I have a 8 minute video of a fish tank on my phone.
We need to stop going to pet stores high.
My doctor said I can only have one drink at a time, ever, from now on. My life has officially started its decline.
Great. I broke up with him before he could like my selfie, now I'm down a like.
drunk and crying about Shakespeare- how's your night?
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
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