I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
we couldnt find her phone in the morning so i called it and found it under the bed. my name came up as 'regret'
I walked into his living room and saw him watching the play-offs while eating tomato paste out of the can with a bottle of wine. I'm telling you to stop talking to him. now.
What would you say if I got first degree burns on my nipples from drinking coffee topless?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
Its okay, i dont mind you drinking, im just surrounded by it, there is some random dude laying on your couch with a bucket that ive never seen before
You realize we were screaming in the car about our apartment next year because we can "bring home randoms whenever we want" and "stare at each other from our door ways"
Matt's offering to breast feed it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm suffering a hangover from deep within. I feel like the half of the parts of my body are permanently laced with alcoholic substances
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
Good news, finally found someone who remembers Saturday night. Bad news, everyone in the bar saw your penis
You faceplanted on the railroad tracks and when I tried to tell you to get up, you told me you were "taking a quick breather"
dude the water is back on, you can stop shitting under the tree . . .
You know those times when you're sitting down for a while and r like damn I'm sober but then stand up and r like WOAH HOLD UP.
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