one two three fourrrrnication!
both roomates are passed out on the floor. I feel like I'm missing out on crucial bonding time by sleeping in my bed.
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
Bubblewrap condoms. We can steal Ziplock's new slogan. Protection you can hear.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
The night went downhill when he lit her purse on fire and tried putting it out with vodka
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it weird to say that Kobe reminds me of a wise brontosaurus?
I hope your face alive. Lemme know if you are breathing in the morning. If not. Whoever is reading this tell me when the funeral for this awesome mother fucker is and we will rage at that event. Kthanksbye
saw a dude wearin soccer cleats at the bar tonight. fuckin kiddin me man?
Hey sorry about last night. can I come pick up my tooth?
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
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