I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...
Hashbrowns don't come out your nose as easily as you would think
Next time I see you, remind me to tell you how I fell through my attic door and landed on my feet in the garage on the first floor.
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He broke the bed, AND shit in the closet. What a way to lose his virginity. What a night.
Remember when we used to go to the bathroom to do drugs together? Now it's to help you with your spanx.
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
All of my exes are either overweight and neckbearded or dead. Someone out there is looking out for me.
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
I just realized that with the new snapchat update / emoji sticker thing I can now use easily use emojis to cover my boobs in nudes.
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
Must lick fork, like it's a DICK
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