I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
My entire life is one complicated drinking game
I just saw the host of Singled Out do standup. Holy shit 1995.
im spending all my christmas money on new years parafanalia aka things I will ingest or lose by the next morning
Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
Just woke up in a hotel next to a 38 year old mom who's married... I think Spring Break has started
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
Dude, she doesn't even live here... She just can't eat all our food and masturbate on my dog's couch...
Is it OK to disqualify a potential therapist if she lists 50 Shades of Gray as her favorite book? Or is that a good thing?
Wanna get mid day margaritas tomorrow if I'm still alive
With a butt like mine I'll never have to pay for Netflix again.
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
Randomize
