I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
How was I supposed to know she would get offended when I asked her how long it took to draw on her eyebrows.
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
I just karate chopped a humming bird out of mid air. It came at my face while I was out side smoking. Scared the shit out of me. My ninja skills just took over. Haha. I mean really at that point it was me or him.
He was running late for work this morning, so I helped him out by finding a matching pair of black socks. And I hated it. So I'm currently drinking and reminding myself of the reasons I will never get married.
My gut feeling that we had reached a new level of intimacy last night was confirmed early this morning when you sleep farted on penis.
If I had 3 wishes one would for sure be a designated driver for life that gives hand jobs.
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
This is like the first time all week I've properly taken my birth control. My ovaries are so stoked I just know it.
I am downtown smoking a joint with Woody Harrelson...Because our car won't start. I will be there as soon as I can.
Dude. So. Much. Sex. Find a girl in her 30s. Now.
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
Randomize
