did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
I had a terrible day! The only thing that makes me feel better is knowing Jack Bauers day was worse.
You were mumbling a lot and offered me 20 dollars to leave you alone
He passed out while I was riding him, and just when I was about to call it quits he opens his eyes and squeezes my boobs and goes Honk! Honk!
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
Couple in the hotel room next to me keep fucking. When I hear her get close I call the room wait for them to stop and hang up. If I'm not getting any tonight then no one should.
My fuck buddy took time out of his date with his girlfriend to text me happy Valentines Day.
You peed in my camelbak and said it was a reverse catheter. Not cool.
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
Sitting on the curb by new england comics with a weeping drunk girl who's eating french fries saying she'll never be as successful as her sister the hand model. She's scaring the nerds.
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
I snuck out three pillows from the hotel i was rolling so hard. They are like little clouds. I regret nothing.
Just broke into the basement of my house via my american red cross blood donor card. I officially save lives
Randomize
