direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
you know, this Evan Williams whiskey isn't so bad when it's watered down a bit and you're home by yourself on a Saturday listening to Snoop Dog alone in your apartment without pants or any plans for your future...
apparently putting your t-shirt on your head with a bottle of captain and telling girls your the pirate king of tallahassee doesn't work
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
GETTING HORNY AT RANDOM IS REALLY FUCKING INCONSIDERATE.
The spirit of America is being too hungover to celebrate America right?
Don't be hating on my everclear. Never taken a smoother journey into intoxication.
He motorboated me, gave me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
As she came, she moaned Roll Tide. I kid you not.
No one should have to go to work between Christmas and New Years, but here I am twirling in my office chair and putting Jack in my coffee like I’m back in college studying for finals.
Sunburned by dick at the nude beach. Bad. She tried to blow me. But. I. Just. Can't. Saddest day of my life.
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
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