Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
update: the house isnt on fire anymore, but he is still pissing on all your stuff.
the house was on fire??
shit I thought I told you.
i guess you could say your face is two degrees of separation from my balls
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
My roommate is on the phone with one of her friends trying to figure out how she threw up IN her pants. I'm not sure whether to burst out laughing or direct her towards Plan B.
he said I could live with him because I'm cheaper than a dog and don't need a pet deposit. That and I don't piss on the carpet...
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
I'm sorry i ruined our friendship with a boner
Just spent the equivalent of my life savings in the liquor store. This is going to be a good weekend
That dude with the beard walked up to me, turned my water into wine with everclear and kool-aid, and walked away. Pretty sure drunk Jesus is back.
I had to ask him for a dick pic. Do you know how refreshing that was?
The cat ate a weed mint. This is not a drill
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
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