Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
the guy I was hooking up with asked me if he could wear a guerilla suit during sex.
oh god the rape fog is back!
i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
My husband just tried to seduce me by saying we can do it doggystyle so you can watch tv
I have glitter on my penis. Do you know anything about this?
I have teeth marks. Like distinct upper and lower jaw.
Yeah me too. My shoulder looks rabid.
I'm going to write a letter. It's going to say, Dear Every Girl Ever: Take some goddam initiative and wake me up with a blowjob and I will eat out of your hand. Love, Every Guy Ever
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
Wonderful brian is stoned out of his mind, floating in a lawn chair in the hot tub eating a giant plate of macaroni and staring at the moon
You took it upon yourself to rid the world of them, and by that I mean you dressed up as Batman and started kicking them in the shins.
THIS ISN'T WORKING THIS IS THE DRUNK LEADING THE DRUNK
This is embarrassing but i think i might have left my fake tooth at your house on your night stand.
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
He was so aggressive it felt like he was giving my boob a root cannal
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