Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
I think my vagina is haunted
so im in the parking lot of taco bell eating a taco...and some girl just got out of a car and screamed at the top of her lungs "XANEX FOR SALE!!!!" i fucking love Hamilton.
Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
I changed the background on my phone to a picture of you so whenever I go to look at porn or text another girl I'll have second thoughts
Am I supposed to find that romantic?
I want to be done crawling through windows but the sex is too good to stop...but I'm running out of excuses for where the bruises on my legs are coming from.
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
No more cocaine. I spent two hours in my bathroom convincing myself I was ugly. Is this what a period feels like?
You're the worst gay friend ever.
hurry up this bar wont let me order big pitchers of beer for just myself
People were staring and acting all judgmental and offended... Like they've never seen anyone breastfeed in a liquor store.
My sister just showed me a snap chat that I don't remember sending, it was a picture of me with two big macs in my bra with just the words "BURGER TITS"
Wait an hour then go and untie him. Bring toilet paper and some spare underwear. Want anything from Starbucks?
I broke a rule
Which One?!
The one where I shouldn't sleep with your friends. I broke this particular rule 4 times.
You're officially the worst brother ever.
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
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