I am drinking with my family and the average drinking tolerance is a shot and a half. I feel like the incredible hulk.
Im broke. I spend all my money on weed cigarettes alcohol and food. In that order. I cant even cut one of those because you know it'd be food. I already stopped getting my nails done just so i could support my bad habits.
It is 8 o'clock in the morning and there is already blood all over one of the stalls in the bathroom. What has your St. Patrick's day done for you?
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
I hope he doesn't find the chex mix when he takes my shirt off.
Helped an old lady on crutches throw away her mcdonalds, carried her stuff to the car and helped her get in...most productive cinco de mayo hands down
You dont realize corn stalks will cut until you run from the cops through a corn field.
There is soup leaking out of my nose nothing in life has prepared me for this moment
She poured beer through the deck into the hot tub. She called it a deck shot. It was horrifying but super awesome at the same time.
For future reference. Do not congratulate the bar tender at oscars she is not pregnant she has just gotten fat u will get a shot thrown in your face
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
Something about finishing sexting a guy and him going "well. I have to get ready for Passover now" really makes me rethink my life choices
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
Randomize
