walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
and now there are teeth marks on my dick.
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
when was she peeing in the stairwell? why dont i remember this?
....because generally we only remember 40% of the night each, and have to fill eachother in. And that still leaves 20% that we will never know and its probably for the best
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
FRIENDS DON'T LET FRIENDS WASTE THE LAST ADDERALL.
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
You cannot meet up with him at the tailgate, his parents are there. What are you going to say "Hi I'm the one who fucks your son, can I get a cheeseburger?"
I may have just tried to argue quantum entanglement as the reason I was still in her bed.
Someone took a shit in the house somewhere and I STILL can't find it. I'm just going to move.
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
I woke up in a front yard I didn't recognize to a grandma tapping me with her foot. What was in that punch?
things i am: 1) still drunk 2) still wearing my leopard onesie 3) still gonna make my 9am lecture despite the odds CAN I GET A HIGH FIVE
Randomize
