Come in. Grab a controller and a beer. We've got some Madden to beat.
You're the best girlfriend ever.
Had a drunk dream about being in a six story taco bell. Oh my god the menu was incredibleeee
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"?
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
Nah. And this is true. It's like you were trained by sexual Jedi or something.
*jedi wave* this is the penis you were looking for
Yeah I remember doing the worm in my moms room. While she's yelling at me and I'm making seagull nooises
Come to Des Moines on Saturday, handcuff yourself to me and drink a bottle of vodka
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
Question: anytime during the past week did I drunk dial you and give you full permission to grab my boobs? Cus I know I said it I just don't remember who I said it to...
Randomize
