At this point, I would light birthday candles in my vagina for free drinks
you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
he saw my emergency pass-out-in-the-bathroom-after-drunken-puking cot in the bathroom.
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
It doesn't matter how many times you look in your purse, Your keys are not going to be there. Maybe you left them at the bar.
Maybe they fell out of my pocket last night when I rolled down the hill.
I told you I'm not going to the Phillies game until we're tripping balls
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
Girl, he can't tell you not to take a bump just because you work tomorrow. You're on a wedding diet, remember?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Will it make you feel better if we wear the title of dysfunctional fucking roommates? It requires monogamy unless we want to bang someone together.
Can you bring me the toilet please
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
I just said give me penis or give me death. Some patriot is rolling around in his grave right now.
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
imagine the bill from school house rock beating the shit outta you
Randomize