I just called a phone sex line and you know what I did? I sat there and cried
Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
There are the 2 BIGGEST tools by me-- at our table. I hate them. But they're not ugly and I may make out with them later. And hate myself. Definitely hate myself.
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
It's just like riding a bike. Only it's a dude's face.
Can you imagine how doomed are children are? I mean for one they have our genetics and then we will ruin them as parents. It will be the most magical adventure. Let's not start soon, too many adventures at hand that involve immense amounts of alcohol.
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
Thank god for federal credentials. Waaaaayyyy to hungover to go through airport security lines right now.
Let's put a bunch of beers in a backpack and shotgun them in a Red Lobster bathroom
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
I feel kind of like we’re in a gang and tonight is one of those “people are gonna know not to fuck with us” type of nights. And then tomorrow I am going to learn to pole dance. I’m not really sure how I got to this point in my life… but I like it.
You're so sweet in the most vulgar ways
My favourite part was when you contorted upside down in the tub and said "I don't want to be upside down"
Randomize
