Will you blow on my dice?
Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
And you kept hanging up and calling back because you thought I wasn't greeting you properly.
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
Almost just got kicked out of a bar because the locals spilled beer everywhere when we taught them to shotgun.
Well this lady at the bar told me I was a natural on the tambourine and that it was my God given talent. and then she gave me a tambourine.
Note to self: don't tell your girlfriends dad you can have his daughter in bed by ten and home by midnight. He doesnt find it funny
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
My goal is to be drunk before we even get out of the No Wake Zone.
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
I’m pretty sure I have teeth marks on my neck
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
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