this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
So I thought I was doing pretty good and then I sneezed and prematurely ejaculated...
He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
Bleh. If he hadn't ascended into heaven and sat at the right hand of the father, Jesus would be rolling over in his grave right now.
never have phone sex with a hardcore republican during this health care crisis . just dont.
he keeps calling me but I'm too scared to answer... Not sure what he's gonna yell at me for: barging into his room while he was with another girl, filling her shoes with dog food and water, or hiding his keys in the garbage disposal.....
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
The sorority chicks were the Persian army, and we were their 300 Spartans. Can barely stand up now...such a good ratio
I thought of you this morning when I woke up in a bed with a girl wrapped in duct tape dressed as a coors light can.
Here's my first problem: I'm drunk
Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON.
I played "in the air tonight" on a drum set made of titties, and I'm not even exaggerating
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
She's like the Jonah Hill of sorority sisters.
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
Randomize
