Are you dead
Yes
Oh man
Someone fed me too many chicken nuggets and sexed me too hard
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
I legitimately sent him a storybook of naked pictures.
One minute we were getting noise complainted by the security guards the next I was shotgunning a beer with them
being pregnant is like rehab
What is the current exchange rate for ramen to jello shots?
I CAN'T FUCK HIM OUTSIDE. THAT'S FOR PEASANTS. HE'S TOO FAMOUS FOR THAT.
She said she forgot something.. and when she came out she was carrying a garden gnome, and a bottle of vodka. she was too hot to question it.
just had to get on my knees to snort an addy off the little sink at the daycare. teacher of the year!
bullshit you weren't drunk, you pointed at me and said my cigarette was empty
LMAO I like how "don't worry I'll bring chasers" is your way of assuring things will be ok
I have a knack for carnage and poetic language.
I literally have a pirate chest of slutty clothing.
Don't send me pics of cunning dicks while I'm eating potato chips
Randomize
