my mom heard me say 'don't squirt that at me' while me & him were in my room. She then decided to call my aunt and complain to her that she has the sluttiest daughter in town. she refused to believe me when i told her i was talking about gel.
I'm with your mom on this one.
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
I totally just potholed and almost crashed while trying to lick salsa off my boob.
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
Well duh, alcohol and getting fucked up are the world's common languages.
I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it....
That guy was drunk and couldn't get it up so he just tried to scissor me.
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
So I missed the eclipse because I was masturbating.
I’m pregaming Christmas shopping with grandma. What’s up?
I just woke up in his bed.. in a cardboard castle, with a Justin Bieber poster on the ceiling staring down at me, cuddling with 4 empty PBR cans. I win.
He waved at a guy who drove by while we were having sex in the back of a rental car in a hospital parking garage prior to visiting family. Almost made me feel guilty but I liked it too much.
You asked me if I ever met a talking rock and when I said no, you looked me dead in the eye and said today was my lucky day then you crawled into a ball and started talking...that high.
Randomize
