i don't know what the guinness world record is for longest time eating nothing but skittles but i'm going on six days
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
tailgaiting my last final, a perfect sendoff.
I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
I feel like someone kicked me repeatedly in the ribs. I don't think sex is supposed to do that.
i got a standing ovation for bringing skittles to the party
I'd rather be castrated by angry chipmunks Than live your life for 24 hours
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
If you think for one second that I would forget Mardi Gras, you clearly don't know how much I love boobs.
Congratulations, you've begun to unfuck your life.
Dollars spent: $83, Girls kissed: 4, Girls slept with:2, Girls currently making me breakfast: 1, Fucks given: 0
He's a drill sergeant! The sadomasochist in me can't resist that.
I don't know where you went, but if you're anywhere near the liquor, pour me another drink
she hand cuffed me to the bed naked, jumped off the dresser naked, hit her head on the fan and knocked herself out. when her mom came home i had to call her for help, she could have died man...
Randomize
