Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
she is using a fork to eat popcorn and refuses to drink gatorade out of anything but a margarita glass... did i mention the popcorn is on a plate?
DON'T BE A PUSSY. ONLY 1/3 OF THE WORDS IN YOUR LAST TEXT WERE MISSPELLED, WHICH MEANS YOU NEED 2/3 MORE SHOTS.
And then. You beer bonged 3 tall boys. In a row. Fell into some kids lap. And pulled down my shirt trying to get up. Thank you for that. I got laid
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
I just got my hands on some dry ice. How do you feel about coming home to a mystical wizard toilet?
Last night all you did was whine about how you needed something new and exciting
Is THAT why I woke up with dreadlocks?
Apparently, the Mormons have taken over airports. I was told by a befuddled looking clerk I couldn't buy a beer with breakfast before 6am.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My vagina has a heartbeat. That means I'm in love, right?
No one wanted to hang out so vodka and I are hanging out
Being responsible doesn't make memories.
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
Randomize