She handed me a mouthguard and said "here, you're going to need this" that rough.
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
Just received a visit from the Ghost of Bad Decisions Past. Kind of weird 90% of the flashbacks happened in the same sixteen month span, the rest happened at Taco Bell.
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
He's a Shit stain on my heart
I don't mean to insult you, but did you leave your training bra in my bedroom last night?
I saw a kid peeing outback so I yelled "you have a small pecker, but its ok cuz when life gives you lemons..." and proceeded to throw lemons at him
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
I'm reading the Hobbit in my blanket fort alone with a bottle of wine... all I need is dungeons and dragons to complete this superfecta of awesome
Last time he showed up for Christmas he went on and on about backpacking somewhere and getting ghonnorreah twice.
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
Randomize
