If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
he actually used the line "do you have a map, because i'm lost in your eyes" and i was to drunk to care
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
WHAT THE FUCK. SUCH A BAD IDEA. YOU'RE NO LONGER IN CHARGE OF NOSE SUBSTANCES.
Dude he's your dog he doesn't love me more than you. I'm just like that cool uncle that takes him to burger king and to see girls.
Dude he was a used car salesman for his friends' penises. I know I have something here that's right for you!
Twas the night before the bachelor party, and all thru the house...not a creature was stirring, not even a stripper?...
Chill out, I'm getting ready as fast as I can. I didn't even masturbate in the shower.
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
it's all fun and games til I text you in last nights clothes with a head bleed
No more margaritas for you. Also, tequila should be reclassified as a hallucinogen.
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
Dude, you got arrested and then texted 911 to tell them you'd been kidnapped with a screenshot of your current location.
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
Randomize
