I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
You asked him to stand still, you put your leg on his shoulder, started dry humping the air
remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
I awoke in a cab to find myself on a ride to niagara falls. Apparently I paid the cab driver half up front.
Things you are not allowed to do while im gone: sell cats on ebay, put cats in freezer again, shave cats like lions, dye cats pink/blue, try to light cats on fire to"wake them up from their nap" agian
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
No, I left myself a half eaten cucumber and a beer next to my head, pointed at it and said 'you're breakfast' and then passed out.
we should probably just go check in at the police station right now
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever.
Cory and I accidentally had a sexual adventure last night.
How do you ACCIDENTALLY have a sexual adventure?
You know i love you, but i just cannot fuck you until your eyebrow grows back. It's too hard not to laugh.
I woke up in the bathtub with money shoved down my pants. I must've done something right.
I got my period on eclipse day. I'm officially in line with the moon.
Randomize
