am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
Dammit. I drunkenly drank all my milk at 6 AM in a misguided stupor to prevent my roommates from stealing my milk.
Was the mom I hooked up with decently attractive I feel like her two friends were hotter
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
Trying to guess which perfume the stripper was wearing based on my bf's clothes
i'm duct taped to my bed with a condom in my hand. something went wrong
I just walked in on my lesbian roommate having sex in the kitchen, and it was awesome. We proceeded to shots naked together. Happy birthday to me.
The judge mental looks i am getting while looking at porn on my phone sitting in the urgent care waiting room is gonna get way worse when they find out im here to see if im pregnant
I'm on the toilet with no toilet paper. When are you coming over? I'm contemplating on just staying here until you arrive.
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
I give all credit to my lucky thong, there's never a time I haven't gotten laid while wearing it
I found dried jizz from last night on my leg while feeding an infant a bottle. I am not fit to care for children
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
I’M DRUNK AND EXCITED.
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