When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
I went to the gas station and the lady goes I remember you. Broken sunglasses and puke on your car.
He told me that a camel appeared out of nowhere and it told him to quit smoking...
I wrote my name on his balls in sharpie. In the homosexual world that's like a diamond ring. Shits permanent.
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
It's probably because the lack of alcohol in your stomach. Alcohol kills bacteria. I am a doctor. Trust me
I miss yesterday.Today's hangover makes yesterday's look like a little girl with blonde ringlets playing hopscotch in the street with a ginger kitten.
I don't want to jinx anything but I may have found the one.
Cat or human?
Human
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
you called me drunk last night to talk about summoning sex demons with magic WTF
You are talking to me during sexting hours. Be careful, innuendos are taken seriously
It feels weird going to sleep without hugging the toilet goodnight
If you need me I'll be in the hospital involving super glue and fake eyelashes.
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
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