Dude my mom stole all your condoms
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
WHAT DO YOU MEAN I DIDN'T APOLOGIZE? THERE WAS A PEACE OFFERING MADE VIA TACO BELL.
so im sitting outside the gym eating a 20 piece nugget stoned out of my mind, convincing myself this is more productive because im so close to the treadmills.
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
I think that all guys are assholes, some of them just have less assholeish qualities that we accept in our lives and that we can look past enough to deal. They have to be a pretty special asshole.
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
You've lost booty call privileges between the hours of 10pm and 8am.
OMG I accidentally abducted a cat. Now there is a cat in my apartment. I NEED TO UNDO WHAT I HAVE DONE
I’m mid 4sum and you’re sending me photos of your cat. We had very different evenings.
Your sister walked upto me in the middle of the hallway and was like get us beer or shes never having sex with you ever again, wtf
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