Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
I need to find more Xanax, my Grandpa doesent leave for another week and he's made it a mission to get me to come out of the closet as a xmas gift to my parents.
Went home drunk last night and peed on my Christmas tree, my mothers going to fucking kill me
This stranger told me I should "start playing for the other team" and then continued to talk to me about the joys of being a lesbian
I just don't understand how we smoked the EXACT same thing and I feel fine but Tim's over here serenading his fifth bowl of fruit loops with Elton John's entire discography.
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
So hungover. Walked into room and poached their catering before realized in wrong place. Scowled and ate it anyway
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
one of these days i'm gonna do a sparkly magical girl transformation into snoop dogg
You slapped my ass and yelled "HOOTY TOOTY WHAT A BOOTY" in a Schwarzenegger voice
you said you couldn't hang because you had to masturbate and feed your lizard
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
New life goal: Sex in a parking lot surrounded by a circle of fire.
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