I don't think ill make it tonight the floor wont let me walk
Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
You were mumbling a lot and offered me 20 dollars to leave you alone
I can always tell its time to do laundry when my vibrator doesn't stay covered up in my sock drawer.
The trip involved octopus tentacles coming from the little holes in my TV's speakers. The beauty of the nonexistant symbolism had me in tears.
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
You kept whispering "Party Dave" every time someone would start talking.
I asked her why she named her vibrator Lorenzo and said it was the name she started screaming her first time.
She's like the Jonah Hill of sorority sisters.
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
I always felt my time would come in the form of a tidal wave of whisky
All my friends are getting married and I'm pole dancing in a tattoo shop. I don't know how I feel about this.
They spent thousands on one day. You made $76 in 30 minutes. You should feel great about that.
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
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