You realize if you die tommorow, the last memory i'll ever have of you is your ballsack on skype
Just dominated the men's bathroom at work. Sounded like the intro of a death metal song.
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
You guys can't keep having sex with them and cleaning their house! They're never going to take you seriously!
I'm in the city buying alcohol. I just got warned by a homeless man on the street that I shouldn't look so pretty "in these parts"
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
I'll take care of you. Just let me pee on this old white person's car first.
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
He’s really fucking cute. Like, I want his penis in my mouth cute.
He updated Facebook... "Got a new phone today." WHAT ABOUT THE FUCKING KID YOU HAD?!
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
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