do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
we went to the store to buy cookie dough and conditionally went straight towards the booze
i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
Yeah I had this grand plan to bring flaming dr pepper shots to some girls and say "these shots are hot, but not as hot as you" but instead I lit the bar on fire
Is it weird that I noticed my lower half feels strange and then further realized it's bc I'm wearing underwear to bed for the first time in weeks..maybe months?
Showed up to family party blacked out and in a turkey costume. I'd say thanksgiving was a success.
Yeah, I fucked him. and the worst part is his name was Jesus. And nobody said it in Spanish. Just Jesus. There is no way I can avoid burning when I walk into a church from now on.
I yelled out "blow jobs!" in my macroeconomics class. Ask me more about how my life is spiraling out of control.
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
After dropping your phone on the ground you got down and sat with it, kissed it and apologized for being so mean
Dad danced on top of the bar with me last night. And has a video of me doing a beer bong.
SOOOOOO I just attempted to go to the gym, hungover. Ended up throwing up in the bathroom. I hope people think I'm just working out really hard
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