I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
Someone told me that drinking would get me no where in life. Drinking has gotten me everywhere in life.
just saw your exgirlfriend at the mall. her sister is pretty hot.
called that a week into the relationship. like driving off the lot with a 2010 and seeing the 2011 models coming in on the truck.
i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
My liver and my bank account can't afford another all nighter. Help.
Please ask me to tell you about the time I watched two of my friends chase my drunk roommate with a broken foot around downtown
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
At the ER. John needs stiches. Fuck pub trivia nights.
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
He accepted my bet of 5 bucks to bike home completely naked. Never got asked about the 5 bucks, guess he enjoyed it too much
What? I'll do just about anything if you give me a sticker.
Randomize
