I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
He said he was from Mississippi and my vagina clamped shut like a frightened oyster
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
I wasn't trying to make you feel bad, I just agreed with you that your life does suck.
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
He put up a Facebook album attempting to sell off their Harvard furniture. Items for sale include: his friend, a broken lamp, an item described as a 'carpet and/or sleeping bag', a pair of paint stained cargo pants, size 'Tyler', and a self proclaimed $3 bottle of wine, which he is offering for $2
I'd just like to say before I start drinking tonight that not only do I not find you attractive; I don't want to hook up with you, suck your dick, be your "suga mama" or have your babies. Please disregard any texts, phone calls or voicemails that say otherwise..
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
I ate an entire popcorn ball before bed. I know that because there is popcorn stuck to my poncho. Also. I'm still drunk. Also. I made out with a 19 year old. Also. #barnparties
I have three different pairs of earrings at three different houses including your 16 year old brothers nightstand. Look at my life. Look at my choices
The friend zone. He put me in the friend zone. But said he still wants me to suck his dick. I'm in the dick sucking friend zone and I want to die.
Just walked into the supermarket puking into a plastic bag while wearing my favorite Bob Ross shirt. I am a human disaster.
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