We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
I just fucked a rockette. This would have been amazing a week ago.
im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
This is your morning news. Today at 5 pm I will be going out of town until the 29th. If you would like some great sex before I leave, please contact me. The available packages are: a house call, an outdoor excursion, or a delivery style in-car quickie. available only while supplies last.
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
Oh thank Jesus fuck for my shitty infertile womb. Crisis averted
Just wanted to say a big ole FUCK YOU for coming out to mom the day before I have to drive with her for 6 hours. Ass hat.
A guy with a mustache poured a beer down your throat while you had a crippled boy named Sunshine riding your back
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
I think you handled your pregnancy scares better than that cricket in your bathroom
You were crying hysterically
So that's why my heels were in the oven...
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
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