What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
when "blow-job jen" drunk dials you at 3 in the morning, you answer
We can grow old together and our livers can fail together
I don't want the last thing I hear while alive to be Jesse's Girl
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
You left the resturant and came back with a McDonalds burger in your pocket so ya...no more pregaming birthday dinners. Especially since it wasn't your birthday.
I really hope your new roommate never finds out we had a threesome with a bisexual British guy in his room the night before he moved in.
He was humming "here comes Peter cottontail" while unbuttoning his pants. Happy Easter to me
Sorry that I was such a monster last night. It was the drugs, I promise.
I went to the bar without a bra on pretty sure you can go to Taco Bell drive thru with no pants
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
She gave me a boner for the first time in 9 years.
My fart just smelled like the inside of white castle, I mean spot on, no difference whatsoever.
Randomize
