How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
i found a roscoes card in my pocket that says 'fuck me bare fo $15.20'. Wow
I was just about to go down on her when she gave herself a "smell check" and said "no, not today".
i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she must've caught on when i went out for a "run" in jeans and a sweatshirt and came back holding a McDonalds bag and smelling like pot.
I may have been hammered and in a wheelchair but I definitely remember asking the hospital reseptionist to marry me
I was too drunk to read the menu, let alone her body language.
i drank out of my shoe...were you seriously expecting me to be the voice of reason?
By the way, we're gonna have to get a new rug for the livingroom i kinda started ours on fire...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We ate a mysterious delivered pizza which no one ordered and then the wii wouldn't work so 20 of us watched porn on two laptops. Drunk took the awkward away.
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
Looking through last night's sexting, realized one is a haiku..
Her weave came out on the dance floor. She was twerking and shaking one minute and her hair flew across the dance floor the next. Great way to be introduced to the family
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
I ran into a wall that clearly had things popping out. My eyebrow was bruised, both arms, the bottom of my foot. Lost half of my finger nail, my fake eyelash was stuck in my hair and I have about 47 blurry pictures of a half naked zombie DJ.
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