That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
I've decided that my new worst fear is that I'll end up on "I Didn't Know I was Pregnant"
Last night she showed me how to clean my bowl and now she's drunk making peanut butter filled cookies. Best. Roommate. Ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
Ya, because touching his brother's face for 20 minutes in front of him wasn't bad enough, I also threw up in his garden and stole like 10 of his shirts before I left. But I fed his dog, so it's okay.
When a chinchilla decides to sit on your face while you're getting head from its owner, you bond.
Also adulthood=replacing meals with bourbon. And not getting your hair caught in a fan.
You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sorry I drunkenly insulted your air mattress last night. You still could have fucked me on it though.
my parents have to start far too many of our conversations with the sentence "this is an observation, not a judgment" than I'm proud of
You don't know weird until you've had a musical wet dream about your older brother.
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
Everything is fine, it's not hung over in here at all\n\n*Narrator* *but in fact everything was not fine*
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