I'm drinking reisling in a paper cup by myself in the garage.
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
On a scale of one to america, how free are you this weekend?
Actually, you don't want to see me.. reached an all time low drinking kahlua out of the bottle concealed in a macdonalds bag
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
I may wear a condom to jerk-off tomorrow knowing that my hand has touched surfaces in this bar.
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
I can't help that I bring out the sex in people
I just sugar scrubbed my vagina. If I don't get laid tonight, me and the universe are gonna have some problems.
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
I hate the cold months. Everybody starts hibernating and I start talking to guys I would never normally talk to. You have a drug habit and no license? Perfect candidate for a boyfriend...
He wants me to fart in his mouth and is offering me SOOOO much coke. I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. GIVE ME ADVICE.
I know right. I don't even want to have sex today. I did anyway but that's besides the point.
Randomize
