he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket
at least the cop wrote "happy birthday" on the ticket.
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
I only feel half bad for cheating on him because while we were fucking I was given great relationship advice and now I'm ready to work some things out.
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
if creating a fake 8 year old brother, who lives with me and has had mono for the past month, to explain why I have ignored my group project members is wrong, then I... well then I'm probably going to hell
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
Do you have any pictures of me mounting animals that aren't on Facebook?
i chased my gummy vitamins with cold bacon, never say I don't take care of myself
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
I’m 37 with a career and a home and yesterday my niece set up Snapchat so I can sext with my 22 year old boyfriend/fuck buddy. Yes. Yes I’d say I need help?
Randomize
