Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note.
You spelled "worthless" wrong.
he told me he wanted to get "words" tattooed on his penis so he could say hes always putting words in my mouth..
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
It took him longer to remove his skinny jeans than it did for him to finish. I didn't even have time to realize it sucked until it was already over.
I'm glad we have the kind of friendship where if either of us is too drunk to fuck a hot guy, we pass the responsibility to each other and get the job done.
I just re read that. We really need to get our lives together.
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
Please don't pee your pants in the cab. One more time, and im pretty sure the cab companies will refuse to pick you up anymore
I feel like it is our duty to make homophobic people more afraid of us. They're never going to change, but maybe we can get to a "wrath of god" kind of worship-him-or-he'll-destroy-you-with-his-care-bear-stare type thing.
I didn't have any lime for my chaser.. so after my shot I ate a handful of lime flavored chips. Didn't work so great.
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
You smoked too much and passed out, didn't you?
You know me so well.
Randomize
