We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
i celebrated the independence of our country by dry heaving tequila all morning. so classy. happy 4th.
what was i supposed to do!? wake up and actually ask her name??
We fucked standing up with my right leg over his shoulder. Thank you mom and dad for having once enrolled me in gymnastics. It has finally paid off
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
It's a piss down the stairs of the hotel kind of night
Mike is worried about me going on a cruise in June without him....how cute he thinks we are going to last till June
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
He pushed a skinny white blonde out of the way just to tell me "you have the finest ass, like ever."
I have never loved a nerdy white boy this much.
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
I know you're aving fun across the room but I can clearly see you getting a handy. It's not as "low key" as she promised. Also, why are you texting while she's doing it?!
Seriously. I'm like, "Wait, we are actually talking about physics in the middle of sex and its ACTUALLY erotic because you're so fucking intelligent I'm turned on?"
Date with Air Force guy was nice btw. And for my next trick I'll talk him into fucking me in his fighter jet at 30,000 ft.
Randomize
