She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
If Jon and Kate can get divorced...how hard can it be for me?
Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
I literally have been drunk for three days entirely by myself, the world cup may kill me
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
Do you remember me making bird noises at the bartender with some guy at the bar last night?
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
You had a fry stuck to your face... Every five mins you would wake up, take a bite, put it back then fall asleep again...
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
They offered me pot brownies in 7 minutes flat. Imagine my horror when I had to be like, are those gluten free?
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
I woke up this morning hand cuffed to the bed with three bruised ribs and Amy written in lipstick on my chest... what happen lastnite??
Randomize
