so i woke up to her 8 year old asking for a bowl of cereal...
I'm eating oreos and watching porn. This is your fault.
I gave my ex the dutch oven last night. How was your night?
I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Wearing the BK Crown on the throne while dropping the kids off at the pool? Yes, one of my life's goals. Win
I've been drunk so often this summer being sober is exciting
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
Oh, and that ugly chick transformed into a veritable goddess when she came back at 3AM with a handle of vodka and 100 chicken wings
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't feel sorry for me. I'm getting Red Lobster and sex tonight. Nothing can bring me too far down.
I am a 5'4" ball of sexual frustration and vodka. It is that kind of night.
Sometimes I just want to serenade his penis with cheesy 80s songs.
The worst part about being a grammar Nazi is all the porn I skip over because the titles are misspelled
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
Well, if you do die, I'll bedazzle your coffin.
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