All I have in my fridge is chocolate cake, pizza, spicy mayo sauce, beer, and weed. I love college
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
It just hit me that I woke up to you in a bear suit. Explain.
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
I had to have the lights off to hide my face. I was laughing so hard I almost peed in her mouth
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
Tip of the day: Don't ever send a bootycxall at 3 in aftnoon. No one will respond n u'll just feel fooolish.
All you kept saying was, " Barack fucking Obama. FUCK Michelle" and then you motorboated me.
Got myself invited to boss's family dinner party, drank too much, and fucked boss's brother in his parent's house. Just another Wednesday.
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
Idk if my headache is from the alcohol, the pot brownies, or being dragged down 8 flights of stairs by my ankles because i passed out in the 12th floor girls bathroom by you. Probably a combo of all three.
I couldn't have possibly been that bad
You had her flip the penny over to the lucky side before you picked it up and ate it...
So the makeout sesh? Not so great. His stubble rubbed my face raw, he tried to push me towards auto-erotic asphyxiation, and he licked my forehead. Twice.
Randomize
