Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
I wish i had a shirt that said, "I know what you're thinking and it's not herpes on my face"
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
I think I told some stripper my friend owned Groupon Last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She spilled creme de menthe on her crotch and I told her she looked like a menstruating Vulcan (costume idea!). Obviously, I went home alone.
How the hell do you leave a party with a kitten? It's missing and everyone knows it was you.
Is "when in doubt date the guy with the bigger dick" a good philosophy?
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
I used to think not drinking while I was pregnant was not gonna be a problem, but I now I'm like shit that's a long time
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I came so hard I burst a blood vessel in my eye. If i cant marry this girl, I'm gonna have to switch teams.
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
valentines day is a day for loved ones to share. So me and my vibrator. Happy holidays.
Fire trucks are here again. It wasn't me this time.
Never thought I'd see the day when I got assless chaps in the mail, and yet here we are...
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
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